Choose Family Over Socioeconomic Status

Christine Leah Doc Z
Literature and Composition
3 Dec. 2010

Choose Family Over Socioeconomic Status

Chris McCandless was raised by two working parents.  They were economically stable even in his youth; however, their drive for personal wealth drove them to put greater emphasis on their careers than on their child rearing (Krakauer).  Both Chris and his sister Carine suffered from their parents’ prioritizing.  Because money puts too much emphasis on socioeconomic status, only one parent per family should have a paying job while the other is in charge of domestic needs and child rearing.  Children gain crucial skills from their parents and when both parents are removed from the child’s life they are allowing someone else to shape their child’s malleable mind

In families where both parents work full time jobs children are left to be raised by nannies or daycare workers.  In some cases the person responsible for caring for the children may not be as qualified or capable as the children's parents.  Teresa Maldonado is a working mother of four; the government pays for her children’s childcare because Teresa makes less than $20,000 but the government pays the woman who cares for Teresa’s children upward of $20,000 (Dominus).  Teresa is lucky that at least the woman in charge of raising her children is competent because it wasn’t “until 2009 that New York had in place a citywide program to ensure that, say, convicted felons were not receiving public money to take care of other people’s children” (Dominus).  Parents are faced with the tough decision do I work in order to set a good example for my children and hope to climb the corporate ladder to success, or do I stay at home and care for my family? Well, in Teresa Maldonado’s case the decision was never hers to make.  Had the government offered Teresa the opportunity to raise her own children and supplemented her family’s income with the money that went towards the children’s daycare she would have jumped at the opportunity, saying,“‘I do find it ridiculous in certain senses how they force certain things on you, I would like to someday stay at home and just take care of my family.”’

Unfortunately, Teresa must continue to work long hours at the all night diner and miss the many precious moments that make parenthood worth wile in doing so (Dominus).  

Some will argue that if the government awarded money to mothers like Ms. Maldonado to care for their own children that tax payers would simply be supporting people without the monetary means to provide for a family and encourage them to have more children; however, the convoluted system currently in place certainly makes one wonder if current policies could not be improved.  Furthermore, opponents of the government paying for parents to raise their children instead of working might claim that the right to work is liberating and allows families to better their socioeconomic status.  These opponents are the reason why housewives are a dying breed.  Nancy Folbre, quoted in the article “The Female Factor” gives her opinion that “‘Even though a number of women still stay at home, a cultural shift has put them on the defensive.’...‘That’s the way social norms work: They put pressure on people to conform’” (Bennhold).  

Parents who work to support a superfluous lifestyle and sacrifice their families will have disharmonious relationships with their children.  Author W.E. Jacobs argues that:

If parents are not available to their children, it is natural that certain elements of family life may suffer, such as family meal times, help with homework or simply spending time together as a family. As children mature, these issues may become more serious if parents are absent during the critical adolescent period and therefore unable to offer guidance and support when children have to deal with drugs, alcohol or sex, for example (Jacobs).

Jacobs’s theory that the absence of family time will have both short term and long term disadvantages proves true in many cases and may lead to children making poor decisions.  The decisions to drink and drive or have unprotected sex for example could have been avoided had a parent been present to have these crucial conversations with their children about responsible behaviors. Children need positive adult role models in their life: parents.
    Today adults in our society can often  be heard saying things like “my work comes first” or “a family can wait until after I have my career,” but are these values that our society should be encouraging? Jacob suggests that, “It is often from this societal demand to achieve material wealth and status and its resulting stress that many of the complaints come about balancing work and family” (Jacobs).  When our society puts work before family what will the results be? In a study recently published in The Journal of Marriage and Family it was found that “Compared with elderly parents and adult children in five other industrialized nations, Americans are twice as likely to have ‘disharmonious’ relationships, a new multinational study has found. And we’re correspondingly less likely to have ‘amicable’ relationships marked by strong affection and relatively free of conflict” (Span). The findings in this study show that in the U.S. parent-child relationships are more strained than in other parts of the world.  This may be because parents were absent during critical developmental stages in  their child’s life and therefore missed important bonding moments, where in the other societies parents spent more time with their children than with their laptops.  Leaving for work every morning before the kids are up and returning only after they’ve been put to sleep obviously is not the best way of getting to know your children, but is the sacrifice even worth it? Deborah Lee and Geraldine Wagner ask “What is the economic difference between caring for children full-time, and earning a salary in order to pay someone else to care for one's children?” (Lee and Wagner).  
    Parents need to be there for their kids.  They need to set a good example and be a good role model by doing what they love and encouraging their kids to do the same.  Parents are of vital importance to the development of their children’s self esteem, behavior, and work habits.  A recent study showed that children who   “spent lots of hours in care, regardless of the quality... were more demanding, less willing to obey, and had problems getting along with peers.  Some children with more daycare experience had poor work habits  in early elementary years”  (Jones).  These children did not get enough one on one time with their parents because they spent so much time in daycare while their parents did other things and as a result not only did the children not gain these critical skills, but they rebelled against them.  
    At least one parent per family should be a “stay-at-home parent” during their children’s childhood; this way they can set a positive example and have a good relationship with their children.  If given the economic opportunity parents should raise their own children instead of shipping them off to daycare centers while they work. If the parents are not able to stay at home to look after their children because their income is a necessity then perhaps the government should consider giving the money allotted for low income daycare to parents so that they may raise their own children without running the risks of enrolling their child in daycare.  Choosing excess socioeconomic gain over raising a family may have harsh effects, as was the case with Chris McCandless who cut his parents out of his life completely and died in his protest of their materialistic ways (Krakauer).  Is socioeconomic status really more important than raising your own children? And is the money gained from a career really more valuable than the wealth gained from raising a child?
   

Works Cited

Bennhold, Katrin. "The Stigma of Being a Housewife." NYTimes.com. Great Neck Publishing, 20 July 2010. Web. 10 Nov. 2010. <http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/21/world/europe/21iht-LETTER.html?ref=child_care>.

Dominus, Susan. "Paying for Child Care, Unless It’s From a Parent." NYTimes.com. Great Neck Publishing, 13 Aug. 2010. Web. 30 Nov. 2010. <http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/14/nyregion/14bigcity.html?_r=1&ref=child_care>.

Jacobs, W. E., and Laura Finley. "Counterpoint: Families Need to Make Tough Choices When Balancing Home Life and Work Life." Points of View: Balancing Work & Family (2009): 3. Points of View Reference Center. EBSCO. Web. 10 Nov. 2010.

Jones, Rachel. "Study Finds Link Between Daycare, Aggression." All Things Considered. NPR. 9 Apr. 2005. Radio.

Krakauer, Jon. Into the Wild. New York: Anchor, 1997.

Lee, Deborah, and Geraldine Wagner. "Point: Society Should Adapt Itself in Order to Enable Mothers to Work and Take Care of their Families." Points of View: Balancing Work & Family (2009): 2. Points of View Reference Center. EBSCO. Web. 12 Nov. 2010.

Span, Paula. "Family Relations: An International Comparison." NYTimes.com. Great Neck Publishing, 30 July 2010. Web. 18 Nov. 2010. <http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/30/family-relations-a-worldwide-comparison/?pagemode=print>.